Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
