i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
