you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Randomize