you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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