she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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