The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize