Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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