I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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