Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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