My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Randomize
