you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
