I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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