When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize