I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
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its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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