apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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