Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize