that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize