garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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