I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?