K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Dating After Heartbreak
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina