I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
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As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
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And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"