Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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