I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me