I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.