So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
