if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize