It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize