Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
