3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
