All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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