I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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