i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Randomize
