Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.