i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
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that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
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Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree