Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
i'm high and self actualising, please send help