Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Randomize