No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
