Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
