Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
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Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
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Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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