I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Randomize