Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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