I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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