Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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