So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
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How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
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Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
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