i don't plan on having that self control this summer
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives