Are you dead
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.