New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.