i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think your dad took our porno
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
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