my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
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