I murdered the dance floor call the cops
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
