Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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