If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
