I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
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It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
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If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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