I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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