Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018