I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
