is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
