the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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